All the leaves are brown 🍁

Morning all. Yesterday saw standard tickets for Glastonbury sell out in less than 35 minutes. The big difference this year was that a new booking system meant that hopefuls were randomly assigned a place in the digital queue that is rivalled only by the physical queue for port-a-loos once you get there.

New system, same result for many as the closest they’ll get to the festival is to enjoy it vicariously, through the colleague in your office that will let you know they’ve got a ticket in the next hour. Hopefully seeing The Teapot land in your inbox is a welcomed refresher.

MARKETS

Data: Google Finance, 7-day Market Close

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PROJECT WATCH

⚡ Ofgem approves £2bn for Easter Green Link 1 interconnector project. Read more

🌊 Petrogas to drill a second North Sea well after gas find. Read more

🔌 SSEN Transmission starts work on substation to connect Orkney Islands. Read more

ECONOMY & FINANCE

Wage growth continues, reducing the likelihood of interest cut
Remember when the Bank of England was hoping wage growth would slow down before they could crack on with slashing interest rates? Yeah, about that – not quite gone to plan. While UK wage growth did ease ever so slightly in September, it was still hanging around at a please-let's-be-done-now level. Over the three months to September, basic wages (no bonuses – let’s not get too fancy here) grew 4.8%, down from August's 4.9%.

Bank of England Governor Andrew Bailey is still playing it cool, insisting the Bank will make its next moves cautiously—probably as cautious as checking your bank account after a big weekend out.

Unemployment also climbed to 4.3%—higher than expected—and with vacancies down 35,000 between May and October, the job market seems to be doing its best impression of a shrinking violet.

Pick your trade partner: USA vs EU
In a typically subtle fashion, Trump’s senior economic adviser, Stephen Moore, has suggested Britain should ditch any dreams of getting closer to the infamously “socialist” European Union and instead buddy up with the good ol’ U.S. of A. You know, the land of the free-trade warrior, as opposed to the bureaucratic Brussels machine.

Speaking from Mar-a-Lago—because where else would you contemplate global economic strategies?—Moore warned that Trump’s America wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about offering a free trade deal to any nation flirting with the EU. This comes on the back of Trump’s plan to slap up to 20% tariffs on foreign goods, which, if you’re the UK, could feel like being whacked with a soggy sandwich when you wanted was a gesture of friendship.

Meanwhile, over at the Mansion House (we like a good name for our fancy speeches too), Andrew Bailey of the Bank of England was a bit more diplomatic, as one does. He pointed out, in the less luxuriant corners of his speech, that Brexit has reduced trade and suggested the UK would do well to rebuild ties with the EU.

POLITICS

UK’s unhealthy £268bn diet
A sum larger than the NHS budget—is the annual price tag of Britain’s addiction to unhealthy, ultra-processed foods, according to the Food, Farming and Countryside Commission (FFCC). The FFCC’s analysis includes the direct costs to the NHS and social care system for diet-related diseases, as well as lost productivity and personal costs of diet-linked illnesses, including cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Professor Tim Jackson, who led the study, emphasised the role of “big food” in driving these costs, claiming companies have long profited from the sale of unhealthy foods at the expense of public health. The FFCC calls for stronger regulation of the food industry, suggesting measures like vouchers for low-income families to buy fruits and vegetables. This comes as Labour prepares to tackle the issue, with plans to limit junk food advertising and encourage healthier eating habits.

Farmers protest inheritance tax reform, face far-right intrusion
Farmers in London are planning a major protesting what they say will threaten their livelihoods, but the rally is drawing unwanted attention. Far-right groups are urging supporters to attend, hoping to exploit the event to promote conspiracy theories. Organisers, who insist the protest is “nonpolitical”, have distanced themselves from the group and are said to be working closely with the police.

Farmers’ concerns stem from recent tax changes that could affect up to 66% of UK farms, forcing some families to sell land they’ve held for generations. The government has also slashed farming subsidies by 79%.

Assisted dying row
Health Secretary Wes Streeting is in hot water with PM Keir Starmer over public remarks opposing an assisted dying bill, despite instructions for ministers to remain neutral. MPs are set for a free vote on the bill later this month.

ACROSS THE POND

US tightens silicone strings on Taiwan’s Semiconductors
In a move likely to give Moores Law a headache, the US has scribbled a sternly-worded post-it note to Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co. (TSMC), demanding they cease sending brainy chips to China. These chips, the kind that let Artificial Intelligence pretend it's HAL 9000, won't be boarding any flights to Beijing anytime soon, as of last week.

This sudden spanner in the works comes just after TSMC was caught red-faced handing over advanced chips to a Huawei AI processor— It appears the US Department of Commerce got wind of it and decided a bit of firm policing was in order.

Huawei, that well-known star on the US naughty list, now needs a license for what can be shipped its way. Spoiler alert: if it smells like an AI boost, the application form might as well be paper for the recycling bin. TSMC, playing by the rules, has suspended deliveries to China-based Sophgo after spotting one of its chips in Huawei's latest AI brainchild, the Ascend 910B—a bit like finding your sock on someone else's washing line.

Elon Musk appointed to lead Department of Government Efficiency
In the latest fantastical twist of American governance, Elon Musk – tech mogul, occasional interplanetary explorer, and full-time meme enthusiast – has been handpicked to lead Trump's new "Department of Government Efficiency". If the name sounds like a page from Musk's beloved meme "doge," then you've caught on to the humorous nod.

Dogecoin might be barking up the right tree. Since the DOGE department's announcement, the cheeky cryptocurrency has soared 10%. Not bad for a coin that was once considered a joke – these days, it's valued higher than Delta Airlines or Kraft Heinz.

Musk's bold vision? To whip the federal government into shape and trim a few trillion dollars off its waistline. His co-crusader, Vivek Ramaswamy, is backing the idea of scaling back U.S. federal agencies by roughly 75%. They plan to report back by July 4, 2026, though Musk optimistically hopes to wrap up "much faster". There may be a beautiful irony in appointing two new roles to a government efficiency department.

TECH

Terminator: I'll be bark
Move over, Fido—there’s a new top dog at Mar-a-Lago. Boston Dynamics’ robot canine, Spot, has been recruited to patrol Trump’s estate. Equipped with a “DO NOT PET” warning.

Part of the Secret Service, Spot is outfitted with three-dimensional mapping tech and thermal sensors, allowing it to navigate tight spaces and tackle stairs. It’s not armed (no laser eyes, yet), but Spot’s capabilities mark the latest sniff of a tech trend in high-stakes security.

Robot dogs like Spot are becoming common in law enforcement. The NYPD briefly deployed “Digidogs” last year, and first responders have used similar bots for search-and-rescue missions.

Trump’s new pet project
Meanwhile, in the ever-chaotic world of cryptocurrency, Bitcoin decided to audition for Mars with its price surging to new highs right after Trump’s election win.

With plans to set up a “Bitcoin reserve” and fill his cabinet with crypto-friendly faces, Trump’s become a Bitcoin backer, aiming to position the US as the “crypto superpower”. Without barking on, doge is also up shooting to the stars.

€800bn! Regulators knock on Meta's door, and they're not selling cookies
Hefty fines over antitrust concerns and privacy lapses. Meta faces accusations of wielding Facebook Marketplace like a battering ram against smaller competitors.

Brussels claims Meta is “tying” its free Marketplace service to its social network, effectively nudging out rivals who can’t compete with the irresistible combo of social media power and classifieds. And as for Margrethe Vestager? With one foot out the door, the EU's competition chief is leaving her mark with this final whopper of a fine.

WORLD

Delhi’s deadly smog shuts schools, sends little lungs looking less lean
School closures and air quality levels at 50 times the WHO safe limit, turning the city into a toxic stew of fine particulate matter. While authorities scramble to spray down roads and halt construction, it feels as effective as sweeping the Thames with a dustpan. The smog is so dense it’s visible from space.

COP29 Barely three days in, Argentina’s delegation threw in the towel
No explanation, just a diplomatic mic drop. President Javier Milei, who’s called climate change a “socialist lie”, pulled the plug after a chummy chat with US president-elect Donald Trump.

Haka!
New Zealand’s parliament erupted this week when Māori lawmakers led a haka, halting a debate over a controversial bill aiming to reinterpret the Treaty of Waitangi—the country’s founding agreement with Māori tribes. The opposition lawmaker Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke spearheaded the ceremonial dance, tearing up the legislation before performing the ritual with colleagues. This led to her suspension from the parliamentary chamber and forced the speaker to temporarily adjourn the session.

The proposed bill, introduced by the right-leaning Act party, seeks to define Treaty principles in law. Thousands of Māori supporters have joined a nine-day hīkoi (peaceful protest march) en route to Wellington, while Māori leaders warn that the bill threatens hard-won Indigenous rights. The Treaty of Waitangi, signed in 1840 between British representatives and Māori chiefs, has long been a foundation of New Zealand’s legal framework

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Cuppa Chat: Cheat Sheet

🥊🩸 Mike Tyson reveals he "almost died" ahead of his boxing match with Jake Paul, suffering an ulcer flare-up requiring eight blood transfusions.

🏺🎁 The British Museum is receiving a £1bn gift of Chinese ceramics, marking the largest donation ever received by a UK museum.

🎅🤖 Coca-Cola's iconic Christmas ad sparks debate with its use of AI.

🚴‍♂️💰 Paddy McGuinness raised over £8m for BBC Children In Need after completing a 300-mile charity cycle ride.

🏉🇿🇦 South Africa defeated England 29-20 at Twickenham's Allianz Stadium, marking England's fifth consecutive loss.

🚫📱 Australia will ban social media use for under 16s with penalties for non-compliant platforms.