Archaeologists find Santa's tomb 🎅

Morning all. Yep, it is thought that the tomb of the original “Santa” has been discovered in Turkey. But fear not, this doesn’t mean you need to have a difficult conversation with any little ones. Saint Nicholas, the Greek Christian bishop, was known for miracles and his generous giving of gifts - hence him being the origin of Santa Claus.

In Myra, Turkey, where the saint lived and served - archaeologists have discovered a stone sarcophagus thought to contain the body of the original Saint Nick, buried beneath a church built in his honour. It is either quite the discovery or the worst advent calendar of all time - you decide!

MARKETS

Data: Yahoo Finance, 5-day Market Close

• Bitcoin breaks new ground, surpassing £78,664.31.

• Notable UK earnings this week: Ashtead Group, Moonpig, Currys, GCP Infrastructure.

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PROJECT WATCH

🚅 Costain awarded a further £400m of HS2 tunnelling work. Read more

🛤️ Ferrovial BAM JV to design and build 140 miles of HS2 track. Read more

☢️ First reactor installed at Hinkley Point C. Read more

🔌 Scottish Power Renewables hands out cabling contract to Nexans. Read more

ECONOMY & FINANCE

Ty-phew!
Typhoo Tea – one of Britain’s oldest tea brands – has been bought out of administration, yet again. You’d think after over 100 years of brewing, they’d have figured out how to keep the pot topped up.

The brand, famous for its cuppa that’s as British as drizzle in July, slipped into financial hot water after struggling to compete with fancier teas and changing drinking habits. Turns out, millennials aren’t swooning over a plain brew when oat milk matcha lattes and turmeric chai are hogging all the attention.

But fear not, Typhoo has been rescued (again), this time by vapes and batteries maker Supreme, in a rescue deal worth £10.2m. So here's to Typhoo – let’s hope this isn’t merely a last-minute dunk before the inevitable soggy fall to the bottom of the corporate mug.

Vodafone and Three’s merger rings in a new era – will the connection hold?
Vodafone and Three are now tying the knot, creating the UK’s biggest mobile network – though not without a fair bit of grumbling from the regulators. The approval comes with so many "conditions" that it’s as much a merger as a mandate. Let’s hope the happy couple make it past the honeymoon phase before anyone drops the call.

The big pitch from the newlyweds is better coverage, faster networks, and new investment into the UK’s digital future – apparently addressing the “desperate need” for speedier rural broadband. In a world where broadband in some areas still runs slower than a hungover postie on Christmas Eve, they’d better deliver sharpish.

Critics, unsurprisingly, have their antennae up, worried this merger could crush competition. Given the current market squeeze, where companies appear to be charging more for less – from energy bills to supermarket cucumbers – one can hardly blame them. The watchdogs will be circling like the seagulls over Brighton Pier chips, sniffing out anti-competitive tendencies.

POLITICS

Sick pay is no laughing matter
Sick pay in Britain might just be the weakest tea in Europe, with workers on Statutory Sick Pay earning a measly £118.75 a week—less than a London pub lunch. Unions are demanding Labour pour in more cash to help the ill stay home without financial ruin.

Nurses warn low sick pay risks turning hospitals into petri dishes, while businesses complain raising it would crush smaller firms. Labour’s promise to be “pro-worker, pro-business” is looking a bit wobbly—someone fetch Angela Rayner a stronger brew.

Housing plan builds tension
The government is bulldozing through council planning committees to fast-track housing developments. Deputy PM Angela Rayner says it’s time to unclog the planning system, promising 1.5 million homes by 2029. Critics, however, smell a policy that’s all scaffolding and no structure.

Councils say the real problem isn’t paperwork but developers dragging their boots, with over a million approved homes left unbuilt. Meanwhile, rural residents are bracing for bulldozers to roll over green fields, unburdened by local objections. Will Labour’s grand designs deliver, or will this plan crumble like a poorly mixed mortar?

Junk food ads dodge the diet police
The government’s junk food ad ban has all the bite of a soggy biscuit. From 2025, pre-watershed ads for burgers and sugary treats will be banned—but brands can still advertise if they leave the goodies offscreen. A burger ad without the burger? It’s like Bake Off without the cakes.

Health campaigners say this is a gaping loophole, while fast food giants are already cooking up TikTok-friendly “brand-only” content. Will this ban really tackle childhood obesity, or has the government skipped dessert and gone straight to half measures?

ACROSS THE POND

Potential red light for the petrol red food dye
It seems the US FDA is playing Scrooge with Red No. 3 (already banned in Europe), pondering a ban on the artificial red food dye. This little cherry-hued troublemaker, which charmingly stems from petroleum (a festive touch if you fancy your sweets constructed from crude oil), may soon face the chop. It's like coal in your stocking, only in candy form.

Tick tock for Tiktok
TikTok's courtroom drama continues as the US Court of Appeals ruled against the app's plea, paving the way for a potential ban in the States. The judges decided that the government's move to block TikTok is constitutional, aiming to protect American data from foreign interference.

Looks like TikTok might have danced its last dance over the pond if they don't sever ties with their Chinese parent, ByteDance, by mid-January. This side of the pond, similar concerns had led UK ministers to chop the app off government devices last year.

Some states have also taken legal action against TikTok, accusing it of harming young minds. It's all a bit Orwellian, with TikTok dismissing the claims as inaccurate. As the legal saga unfolds, one thing's certain: If TikTok does go dark, Americans might need to find a new time-sink come 19 January 2025. Perhaps revisiting their Christmas cracker jokes from this season?

Trump’s steel block
President-elect Donald Trump has announced he will block the proposed $15bn acquisition of U.S. Steel by Japan's Nippon Steel, a move opposed by American steel unions who seem more coordinated than a synchronised swimming team. This crafty power play certainly adds a bit of ‘grandeur’ to the festive season.

Nippon Steel, ignoring the chilly political climate, seems determined to proceed, brandishing promises like Father Christmas handing out sweets. They've pledged $2.7 billion investments into union facilities, which they say will bring technological innovations and save union jobs. Sounds like a New Year’s revolution to me, but good on them for trying to get on the 'Nice' list this year.

TECH

AI is now forecasting the weather, and it’s no longer cloudy with a chance of guesswork. Google DeepMind’s shiny new GenCast system has outperformed traditional weather models by 20%, predicting everything from hurricanes to heatwaves with dazzling precision. Trained on 40 years of meteorological data, it churns out forecasts in just eight minutes, compared to the hours traditional systems require.

While forecasters are thrilled, some warn that even AI isn’t immune to its own “Michael Fish moment”. For now, let’s hope it’s better at spotting storms than finding gaps in the clouds.

Elon Musk has been busy, as usual, rebranding ambition as reality. His Colossus AI supercomputer is set to expand tenfold, adding over a million GPUs to train xAI’s chatbot, Grok. While rivals like OpenAI have teamed up with big tech for resources, Musk’s approach is all solo swagger. Meanwhile, his $56bn Tesla pay package has been axed again by a Delaware judge, who said it was less a pay deal and more a “Musk fan club reward.”

WORLD

Santa’s tomb unwrapped 
Forget reindeer and chimneys—Santa’s real origins might just lie in a limestone sarcophagus in Turkey. Archaeologists digging at the Church of St. Nicholas in Demre believe they’ve uncovered the original burial site of the 4th-century Greek bishop who inspired jolly old St. Nick. Move over, Rudolph, because this discovery has sparked a sleigh-load of excitement.

The sarcophagus, found near a 5th-century Byzantine church, might just be the ancient resting place of the man known for his generosity (and for not putting coal in stockings). But don’t worry, Britain: if Santa was worried about Brexit border checks, his bones apparently emigrated to Italy in the 11th century. Researchers hope to find an inscription to confirm this is the real deal, but if not, at least we’ve got a cracking story for the office Christmas party.

It’s comforting to know that even in the afterlife, Saint Nick is still full of surprises. Here’s hoping they also find his naughty list—there are a few politicians in South Korea who might just make the cut this year.

South Korea’s martial flaw
It’s pantomime season in South Korea’s National Assembly, and the star of the show is President Yoon Suk Yeol. Oh no, he didn’t (declare martial law last week)! Oh yes, he did. And while his apology for the stunt briefly quietened critics, it wasn’t enough to stop opposition MPs from pushing for his impeachment. Sadly for them, their bid flopped faster than a soggy mince pie when ruling party MPs staged a dramatic walkout, leaving the vote just shy of the numbers needed.

Outside, tens of thousands of protesters braved the winter chill, chanting for Yoon to resign while dreaming of a more democratic Christmas. The opposition is already planning weekly impeachment attempts – because what’s more festive than an ongoing political crisis? Yoon, meanwhile, is clinging to his presidency like a turkey to its last stuffing. If he manages to hang on until Christmas, he might need Santa to deliver him a new approval rating.

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