Fraudulent Phil 🌦️

It’s a sham. Last week, we touched on the groundhog used in America to predict the weather. That prompted us to do a little more research on the mystic Punxsutawney Phil.

Every year, this beloved groundhog is presented at a ceremony to enlighten the people of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania as to how much wintery weather is left of the year - if he sees his shadow, he returns to his hole and the weather is expected to stay cold. The event draws a crowd and a team of people in top hats for some reason.

Only downside.. Phil hasn’t got a clue, he’s arguably the worst meteorologist ever. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, say Phil has been right about 30% of the time, meaning you’d be better off having an annual coin toss - or better yet, assume the opposite of what the unreliable groundhog suggests. Imagine getting your job right 30% of the time and still being employed - although there may be one colleague that comes to mind.

MARKETS

Data: Google Finance, 5-day Market Close

Notable UK earnings this week: Unilever (ULVR), BP (BP.), Barclays (BARC), NatWest (NWG), Dunelm Group (DNLM).

Notable US earnings this week: Coca-Cola (KO), Cisco Systems (CSCO), McDonalds (MCD), Shopify (SHOP), AirBNB (ABNB), Coinbase (COIN).

📈📉

PROJECT WATCH

🔌 Helix Robotics wins Hornsea contract for cable burial. Read more

🚂 Two firms vying for £269m ‘people mover’ HS2 contract. Read more

🌊 More decommissioning work for Aberdeen-based Well-Safe. Read more

ECONOMY & FINANCE

Growth forecast slashed
The UK’s economic outlook has taken another hit, with leading forecasters downgrading growth expectations for 2025. The EY ITEM Club now predicts a modest 1% rise in GDP, down from a more optimistic 1.5%. Not quite the economic springboard Chancellor Rachel Reeves had in mind.

This latest revision follows a sluggish end to 2024, when the economy barely moved—much like a Southern Rail train in winter. GDP scraped together a dismal 0.1% rise in November, after flatlining in the third quarter. With tax and wage rises looming in April, businesses are bracing for an even tougher start to the year.

On the bright side, 2026 could see a more respectable 1.6% growth—meaning the economy might finally wake up just in time for another general election circus.

Interest rates take a trim
The Bank of England has trimmed interest rates once more, from 4.75% to 4.5%, marking the third cut in six months. Hardly a shock, given analysts saw it coming a mile off. While mortgage borrowers may breathe a sigh of relief, savers are left grimacing as banks are likely to slash savings rates in response.

Starmer goes nuclear
Sir Keir Starmer has gone full steam ahead—well, full nuclear—on his energy ambitions, pledging to "build, baby, build" as the UK races to revive its nuclear industry. He’s planning to bulldoze planning restrictions to fast-track the development of small modular reactors (SMRs) in England and Wales, taking on what he calls “the blockers.” In classic political déjà vu, he framed it as a move to reclaim Britain’s place as a global leader in nuclear power, promising thousands of skilled jobs and a shot in the arm for economic growth.

Supporters, including business groups and unions, love the idea, but environmentalists? Less so. Greenpeace reckons the government has swallowed the nuclear industry’s sales pitch whole, warning of unproven costs, timeframes, and safety claims. Given that nuclear stations currently take decades to go from blueprint to power switch, the concerns aren’t unfounded.

POLITICS

Mandelson’s US Mission: Tea, Tariffs, and Trump
Peter "Prince of Darkness" Mandelson, Labour’s master strategist and comeback king, is off to Washington as the UK's new ambassador. Tasked with smoothing Trump and keeping tariffs off British exports, Mandelson’s political savvy will be put to the test. Once a key architect of New Labour (and twice scandal-plagued cabinet minister), he’s ready to charm America with trade deals, tech talks, and maybe a royal visit or two.

His game plan? Flatter Trump while pushing a tech-focused agenda, leveraging contacts like Elon Musk and Peter Thiel. Critics raise eyebrows over his past lobbying ties but No. 10 sees him as the ultimate political fixer.

Lynxes in Scotland plans for bigger cats pause
The lynx won’t be prowling the Highlands anytime soon. First Minister John Swinney has ruled out reintroducing the extinct wildcats after the illegal release of four lynx stirred fears among farmers. Already battling havoc from reintroduced beavers, rural communities aren’t keen on more predators near their sheep.

Swinney insists rewilding efforts must balance nature with farming and food security. However, conservationists argue that Scotland can handle a few furry felines, pointing to global examples where humans coexist with large animals. Despite growing public support, the government isn’t budging, leaving the lynx to Edinburgh Zoo—and to the pages of Scotland’s ecological what-ifs, aww, paw lynxes.

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ACROSS THE POND

DOGE goes in swinging
Elon Musk has been appointed head of the newly formed Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) by President Trump. The aim? To trim government fat, cut inefficiencies, and apparently, gain unchecked access to federal records in the process. Predictably, this has sparked uproar, with a dozen US states now suing to rein in DOGE’s reach.

Musk, who spent a hefty sum backing Trump’s 2024 re-election campaign, has wasted no time shaking up federal agencies. Among his team are tech execs, ex-Tesla staff, and, bizarrely, a group of 19-to-24-year-old engineers who presumably bring boundless enthusiasm and not much experience. Think of it like The Apprentice, but with access to £5 trillion worth of government payments.

Already, DOGE has attempted to gut the US international aid agency USAID, taken a hatchet to federal real estate costs, and grabbed control of government payroll systems. Musk, ever the Twitter/X showman, proudly posted: “We spent the weekend feeding USAID into the wood chipper.” Not quite the understated bureaucratic efficiency one might expect.

Legal experts argue that DOGE may well be breaking several laws, including data privacy and financial security regulations. There’s even talk that its actions could be unconstitutional. But while the courts drag their feet through the usual legal thicket, Musk and Trump march ahead, unbothered by minor legal inconveniences.

The best part?
On Monday, Elon Musk, the man in charge of government efficiency tweeted an incredible 178 times. Without sleeping, that’d be an average of almost 7.5 times an hour. Nothing says working efficiently like hammering X (formerly Twitter) at work!

Since Trump’s inauguration, Musk has tweeted more than 1,500 times, including on the 2nd Feb, an hour between 3am and 4am (local time in DC) where he tweeted every 80 seconds for a whopping 49 tweets in the hour.

TECH

Vesuvius’ Hot Take Finally Unwrapped
In a plot twist worthy of Time Team, a 2,000-year-old Roman scroll has been virtually "unrolled" by AI and X-rays after being barbecued by Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. The scroll, once mistaken for a petrified breadstick, is revealing Greek text possibly linked to Epicurean philosophy. So yes, it’s officially ancient wisdom from the original life-hack influencers.

Oxford’s Bodleian Library is hosting the project, where carbon-coated letters are finally coming to light—though you won’t be ordering these scrolls with garlic butter anytime soon.

Cornwall’s deep space poolodyssey
Cornwall’s getting cosmic, and it’s not just because of the stargazing pasties. Plans for one of the world’s deepest pools (50m!) are underway at Newquay’s Aerohub, with NASA officially onboard. The facility, Blue Abyss, will serve as a training ground for both space missions and subsea exploration—think Thunderbirds meets The Abyss. Guesses for the deepest one?

Cornwall is on track to become a space-sector superpower, proving once and for all that it offers more than beach holidays and tin mines. One small step for astronauts, one giant leap for Cornish innovation and pastie sales.

Australia has pulled DeepSeek from its waters faster than a great white spotting a tasty tourist. The Chinese AI app has been banned from government devices over "security risks"—proof that in tech diplomacy, data paranoia lurks deeper than the Great Barrier Reef.

It’s been a rough week for modern innovation, and that’s not to mention the long-awaited Football Manager 25 has been sent off after delays left it feeling more non-league than Champions League but at least ancient scrolls are getting the last touch. Who knew the hottest tech of 2025 would be from 79 AD? Panem et scrollenses.

WORLD

Delhi decides on Modi’s BJP brew, ups a political storm
Delhi voters have handed PM Narendra Modi’s BJP a steaming cup of electoral victory, with the party winning 48 of 70 seats—its first majority in the capital in 27 years.

Modi celebrated the win as a triumph of “development and good governance,” with BJP’s "double-engine" pitch promising a smoother ride for Delhi—state and federal governments finally rowing in the same boat. The AAP’s campaign struggled to stay afloat, weighed down by corruption scandals and the jailing of top leaders.

This win cements Modi’s dominance on India’s political chessboard, while the AAP is left to ponder its next move. A regroup is likely—or they’ll be left drifting in Delhi's haze.

in the Caribbean... some small shaky sands
Across the globe, the Caribbean has had a shake-up felt in the sand. A minor-ish 7.6-magnitude earthquake near Honduras has triggered warnings across the region, with alerts issued for Cuba, the Cayman Islands, and more.

Officials warn of strong waves and currents for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands, though the quake's remote location should minimise damage. Still, coastal residents are staying on high alert.

There’s still tea in the pot...
The Teapot weekly quiz

Cuppa Chat: Cheat Sheet

🖼️🐐 Banksy's goat artwork was removed from a building in west London for essential refurbishment by Boss & Co. The piece will be conserved and may be displayed in the future.

⚽️🔵 Brighton triumphed 2-1 over Chelsea in the FA Cup fourth round.

🏉🏆 England edged France 26-25 in a dramatic Six Nations match at Twickenham, with Elliot Daly scoring a last-minute try.

🥊🇹🇭 Britain's Ellis Badr Barboza loses ONE strawweight Muay Thai world title fight against Prajanchai PK Saenchai in Bangkok due to doctor stoppage in round four. Despite a strong start and showing great resilience, Barboza was halted after suffering a deep cut above the eye.

🎶🏈 Kendrick Lamar headlines the Super Bowl LIX halftime show in New Orleans, highlighting his journey from Compton to hip-hop legend.

🎤🎟️ Oasis fans were left disappointed as Ticketmaster cancelled tickets for their reunion tour, citing bot usage accusations.

🎤🏆 Beyoncé takes home three Grammy Awards, including Best Album, for her eighth album "Cowboy Carter," making her the most decorated artist in Grammy history with 35 trophies. Taylor Swift announced her surprise win for Best Country Album during the LA ceremony.

📚🎬 Tom Michell's memoir "The Penguin Lessons" has been adapted into a film starring Steve Coogan, set to release in cinemas on 18 April. The story is based on Michell's experience rescuing a penguin from an oil spill in 1970s Uruguay.

🎬🏙️ The new Bridgerton season four trailer is boosting tourism in Bath, with an estimated £5m contributing to the local economy. Visitors flock to see famous filming locations like The Royal Crescent and The Bath Assembly Rooms.