Howzat? 🏏

Happy Monday. With news last week dominated by Manchester United unveiling a new look stadium, there has been much conversation about building a stadium with its own umbrella. With 150 days of rain per year in Manchester it is easy to see why it might need one.

But here’s one for you.. across the road from Old Trafford football stadium, you’ll find Old Trafford cricket stadium - which has been been victim to these rainy days too. Since 1877, 26 full days of test match cricket lost to rain. But, believe it or not, that’s only three more full days than the sunny sights of Sydney cricket stadium in the same period! Still, an Aussie working holiday to Manchester seems a far cry!

MARKETS

Data: Google Finance, 5-day Market Close

Notable UK earnings this week: Prudential (PRU), Carnival (CCL), Phoenix Group Holdings (PHNX), Softcat (SCT), Travis Perkins (TPK), Trustpilot (TRST).

Notable US earnings this week: Accenture (ACN), Nike (NKE), Fedex (FDX), PDD Holdings (PDD), XPENG (XPEV).

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PROJECT WATCH

🛣️ £290m project to upgrade M3 junction in Windsor. Read more

🌊 Shell’s North Sea gas find set for FID in 2027. Read more

🍃 Orsted set to start pre-construction surveys for Horsea 4. Read more

🏟️ Foster & Partners unveil UK’s biggest stadium plan for Man Utd. Read more

ECONOMY & FINANCE

John Lewis profit soars 73%
The John Lewis Partnership (JLP) has unveiled a staggering 73% increase in annual profits, climbing to a handsome £97 million, up from last year's rather underwhelming £56 million. Yet, for the third consecutive year, the staff bonus remains as elusive as Bigfoot.

Group sales nosed upward by 3%, reaching a dizzying £12.8 billion. This rise, largely driven by our green-and-pleasant Waitrose, comes as the department store astutely resurrected its cherished 'Never Knowingly Undersold' promise, a beloved staple until it was shelved in 2022.

With new chair Jason Tarry at the helm, JLP plans to plough a further £600 million into its operations, focusing on solid, dependable income for its so-called 'partners', a refreshing shift from the oft-missed badge of bonuses.

Not gifting a bonus is rather an unfamiliar feeling for the employee-owned business. It’s only the fourth time since 1953 that loyal desks across the land will not be cluttered with congratulatory envelopes.

January jitters for economy
The UK economy has kicked off the year with an unexpected January slump, contracting by 0.1% instead of the modest growth economists had predicted. A particularly rough month for manufacturing played a leading role in this downturn – hardly the economic confidence boost Chancellor Rachel Reeves would have wanted ahead of her Spring Statement. Just in time for April's tax hikes, too. Lovely.

Reeves insists the government must go “further and faster” on the economy, though the Conservatives are already branding Labour a “growth killer.” Given economic growth has been about as lively as a cold cup of tea, the government’s upcoming spending plan is under pressure. Meanwhile, businesses are bracing for higher National Insurance payments, a rising minimum wage and reduced business rate relief – all just in time to put a further squeeze on pay rises and job creation.

POLITICS

Starmer's scalpel
NHS England gets the chop. Sir Keir Starmer has decided to wield the political pincers, abolishing NHS England in a bold bid to cut bureaucracy and save money. In a move that could make or break his premiership, up to 10,000 jobs are on the line as Starmer attempts to shift £500m annually from management to patient care. The idea is to refocus the NHS on cutting waiting times rather than swimming through red tape. Let’s just hope this cut doesn’t bleed out.

Rwanda row
Starmer’s government has officially closed the books on the controversial Rwanda migrant deal — and Rwanda isn’t thrilled. After splurging £240m on a failed plan to deport asylum seekers, the UK has refused to make a final £50m payment. With the plan now “dead and buried,” taxpayers might finally breathe a sigh of relief — though £240m for zero deportations still stings.

Tag, you’re it
The Home Office plans to electronically tag foreign criminals who can’t be deported due to human rights laws. The amendment to the Border Security Bill would allow the government to impose curfews and tracking on foreign offenders living in the UK — a measure reminiscent of the terrorism prevention orders introduced in 2011. With over 18,000 foreign offenders awaiting deportation, the government hopes this will toughen up the immigration stance without breaching the European Convention on Human Rights. If offenders step out of line, they’ll face jail time. Looks like Big Brother's getting bigger.

ACROSS THE POND

Everything’s computer!
President Trump decided to take a seat in a gleaming red Tesla Model S right on the White House driveway. Apparently, it was all about showing a bit of love for Elon Musk’s electric vehicle company. Once inside, the president exclaimed to reporters, “Everything’s computers!”. A sure as night follows day, the Democrats are pushing for an investigation into an ethics violation, arguing that Musk and Trump are using their official roles, and public resources (the White House), to endorse and promote a private company.. it seems a tough one to dispute.

With Tesla’s stock having plummeted by almost half since Trump’s return to the office, this purchase was meant to turbo-charge confidence in the automaker. Not one to miss a publicity stunt, Trump hopes this flashy act will put some spark back in the sagging sales.

Adding to their bromance, Trump urged his followers to support Musk by buying Teslas—prompting a rush not unlike the Black Friday sales, we reckon. Of course, we’re yet to see if this will rewire any hearts or just short circuit the public’s reaction buttons.

Tit for tat tariffs
In a copy and paste moment - there’s more tariffs dominating the US headlines. This time the European Union has decided enough is enough concerning the recent shenanigans of the Trump administration. Brussels has unleashed tariffs in retaliation to those pesky 25 percent levies on steel and aluminium, delivering a two-stage counter shot worth a whopping €26 billion on American exports. The EU's plan rolls out starting 1st April – no fooling around here – implementing initial tariffs on American staples like Harley-Davidson bikes and bourbon.

Ursula von der Leyen, head of the European Commission, painted a bleak picture: these colossal tariffs are business vampires, sucking vitality and pushing up consumer prices on both sides of the Atlantic.

While Europe readies its armour, the UK is taking the high road or perhaps a strategically quiet backroad, displaying a 'cool-headed' approach. No panic ensues in Number 10, as they plan to keep calm and carry on—not a 'kneejerk reaction' in sight.

TECH

NASA astronauts’ nine-month staycation
The SpaceX capsule has docked with the ISS at last! It’s been a long layover for NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams, who were supposed to spend a breezy eight days on the International Space Station (ISS) but ended up clocking nine months instead. The culprits? A string of technical hiccups with Boeing’s Starliner spacecraft — thruster trouble and helium leaks, which, let’s face it, isn’t a great look when you’re orbiting 400 km above Earth. NASA, unwilling to take any chances, decided to bring Butch and Suni home aboard SpaceX’s Dragon capsule — Boeing’s rival. Talk about an awkward ride-share situation.

Back on the moon… The Blue Ghost lander captured some cosmic eye candy this week, snapping a solar eclipse from the lunar surface. The glowing ring of light, seen reflected on the lander’s solar panel, marks the first time a commercial spacecraft has observed an eclipse from the moon. Proof that while some astronauts are stuck waiting for a lift, the moon is still having its main character moment.

Speaking of cosmic signals… Scientists have picked up mysterious radio pulses from a never-before-seen part of space near the Big Dipper. The signals appear to be coming from a pair of tightly orbiting dead stars — a red dwarf and a white dwarf — whose magnetic fields collide every two hours, sending out bursts of radio waves. It’s like a celestial drumbeat from the universe, and scientists are still figuring out why it’s playing.

Google’s Gemini gets physical
Over in the world of AI, Google DeepMind’s Gemini 2.0 has gone from brain to brawn with the launch of Gemini Robotics — a robot model that not only understands language and vision but can now act on it too. Need help folding a shirt or making a sandwich? Gemini’s got you.

The model’s advanced “vision-language-action” capability allows it to adapt to new objects and instructions on the fly, even switching between different robot bodies like a Transformer with a PhD. Its sibling, Gemini Robotics-ER, takes it up a notch with advanced spatial reasoning — it can spot objects, plan movements, and adjust its grip mid-task. Robots are basically learning to problem-solve like humans — minus the existential dread and tendency to forget why they walked into a room.

WORLD

Iceberg incoming
The world’s largest iceberg, A23a — roughly twice the size of Greater London — has finally hit the brakes, running aground near South Georgia Island after a 40-year polar pilgrimage. First breaking off Antarctica’s Filchner-Ronne Ice Shelf in 1986 (when mullets were in fashion), the 3,234km² slab recently pulled a dramatic spin through “iceberg alley” before getting stuck on the continental shelf. Scientists predict it’ll gradually grind itself to bits, creating a minefield of icebergs for local fishermen.

Some of South Georgia’s three million macaroni penguins could face a krill shortage thanks to the freshwater infusion — but nature, ever the multitasker, might compensate with a vast green halo of phytoplankton blooms around the melting berg. So, while some penguins may need to waddle further for dinner, the local ecosystem could be in for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Every meltdown has its silver (or icy blue) lining.

95-day Sea Turtle survivor
Peruvian fisherman Maximo Napa Castro has earned himself serious bragging rights after surviving an astonishing 95 days adrift in the Pacific. What was meant to be a two-week fishing trip turned into an epic survival story after a storm left him stranded 1,094km off the coast. Maximo lived off rainwater and whatever he could catch — turtles, birds, cockroaches.

After 15 brutal days without food, an Ecuadorian patrol vessel finally hauled him in. His daughter greeted him with a bottle of pisco — because how else do you shell-ebrate surviving sea roaches? After dining on turtle tartare, Maximo’s now gearing up for a proper shell-out shindig.

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🦎🏡 UK man fined £333 for keeping a pet alligator named Cliff in his Rotherham garden without a licence. The alligator has been relocated to a park in Liverpool.

📱🔒 Apple's case against UK government over encrypted data begins in secret at the Royal Courts of Justice. The UK wants access to data for national security, but Apple insists it would compromise privacy.

📱💰 Niantic's Pokémon Go business sold to Scopely for $3.5 billion as part of Saudi Arabia's investment in video games. The deal marks another acquisition by the Saudi sovereign wealth fund, aiming to diversify beyond fossil fuels.

🤖🚁 Historic England is utilising robot dogs and drones in places like York Minster to assess risks and damages at heritage sites following disasters. The technology, like robot 'Spot,' offers faster, safer access to hazardous areas, aiding in preservation efforts.

🇸🇯🌍 The Sark flag will soon join over 3,700 emojis, establishing a distinct identity from Guernsey through its inclusion in Apple's iOS 18.4 update.

📜🗿 Ancient stone tablets reveal that government bureaucracy existed 4,000 years ago, according to archaeologists. Over 200 tablets and 50 seal impressions found in Girsu, Iraq, showcase the administrative systems of ancient Mesopotamia.