Happy Monday. The London Marathon always brings talking points and this year might’ve been the biggest marathon news in history. The seemingly impossible finally gave way yesterday: the two-hour barrier has been broken, congratulations to the winner Sabastian Sawe! Somewhere, physics is filing a formal complaint after he blitzed an entire marathon in 2 hours, 59 minutes and 30 seconds.

In a twist that feels almost unfair, the second-place finisher also dipped under two hours—an achievement that would’ve been headline news literally yesterday. Instead, they’re now the fastest “footnote” in marathon history. Blink and you might miss them… though to be fair, at that pace, a lot of people did.

Notable UK earnings this week: Barclays (BARC), BP (BP.), Anglo American (AAL), Bango (BGO).

Notable US earnings this week: Coca-Cola (KO), General Motors (GM), Spotify (SPOT), Amazon (AMZN), Microsoft (MSFT), Meta (META), Apple (AAPL), Mastercard (MA), ExxonMobil (XOM), Chevron (CVX).

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🌊 Well-Safe Solutions win North Sea decom contract with Apache. Read more

🏗️ Graham wins £60m Stretford Mall flats redevelopment job. Read more

🏗️ Green light for £70m residential schemes in Liverpool. Read more

Inflation is back… and it’s brought a jerry can
Analysts reckon last month’s numbers will show prices creeping up again, courtesy of eye-watering fuel costs. The Office for National Statistics is set to spill the beans on Wednesday, giving us the first proper look at how the latest bout of Middle East tensions is filtering through to the weekly shop—and, more painfully, the petrol pump.

The smart money has inflation, as measured by the Consumer Prices Index, ticking up to 3.3% in March. Not exactly a jump scare, but enough to nudge it to its highest level since December and gently ruin everyone’s “things are calming down” narrative.

The Bank of England has already been dropping hints that this was coming. Prices, it says, are likely to keep accelerating as pricier energy works its way into, well, everything. The International Monetary Fund has gone one better, suggesting inflation could wander up towards 4%—which, for those keeping score, is a full two percentage points above where it’s meant to be. Gold star, everyone.

Wage growth slows
Meanwhile, pay packets are losing a bit of puff. Wage growth (excluding bonuses) has slowed to 3.6%, its most leisurely pace since 2020. Including bonuses, it’s 3.8%—still ahead of inflation for now, meaning real incomes are just about inching upwards. But with the Bank of England expecting inflation to climb towards 3.5% later this year, that margin is looking… fragile.

And if you were hoping interest rate cuts might swoop in to save the day, think again. Normally, a sluggish economy would nudge the Bank towards loosening things up. Instead, it’s stuck playing inflation whack-a-mole, likely keeping rates higher for longer while it watches energy prices ripple through the system.

Stormy sea of sovereignty
The Falkland Islands, making yet another cameo in the "Will They? Won't They?" saga of sovereignty. This time, the United States, with a report suggesting they might - might - rethink their support for the UK's claim to the islands.

Downing Street wasn’t about to let this one steep for too long, they swiftly announced, "The Falkland Islands are British, period". A nice, strong brew of diplomacy to calm any potential frayed nerves, hinting at a “it’s not like the islands have been British since 1833 or anything” type of response along with “Falkland Islanders, who’ve been voting overwhelmingly to remain British every time they’ve been asked”.

The UK’s smoke-free future
Now, for a piping hot cup of "Let’s make this country healthier, even if it kills us"! The UK has passed a new Tobacco and Vapes Bill that promises to create the first ever smoke-free generation. And no, this isn’t some hazy New Year’s resolution. This is the real deal - anyone born after January 1, 2009, will be legally barred from ever lighting up a cigarette. Think of it as the ultimate "Not in my lifetime!" policy - except it really is. So, if you were born after 2009, congrats! Your only chance to inhale nicotine is through a carefully controlled, government-regulated vape.

The bill also includes a lovely sprinkling of outdoor smoking bans, flavour restrictions, and a touch of class - vaping will no longer be allowed in places where you can’t smoke. So, if you enjoy blowing smoke rings in front of schools, playgrounds, or hospitals, well, you’re going to need a whole new hobby. Maybe take up knitting? The UK is all about keeping things clean and not on fire for future generations.

Live facial recognition, courtroom challenge loss
What could be more fun than having your face scanned without even knowing it? The Metropolitan Police, of course, have decided that nothing says "public safety" like identifying and tracking people in public places. So, the police set up their little facial recognition cameras, scanning the masses, checking faces against a database of wanted criminals or accidentally misidentifying you.

But why sweat the small stuff when the "greater good" is on the line? Naturally, privacy campaigners threw a bit of a tantrum, claiming that this technology could lead to profiling and civil liberties issues, but let’s not get bogged down in details, right?

The High Court, in all its wisdom, ruled that the Met’s use of this surveillance tech was A-OK - because who doesn’t want their biometric data collected while they walk down the high street, just in case they might be up to no good? But don’t worry, the Met has assured us they’re only after the bad guys (unless you happen to have a similar face as one). And, of course, they’re expanding the fleet of facial recognition vans from 10 to 50. So now, you’ll be scanned more than a middle aisle discount toot item at Aldi.

Tim Cook stepping down as Apple CEO
Tim Cook is stepping down as Apple’s chief executive after helping turn the company into a $4 trillion powerhouse and the defining tech giant of the post-Steve Jobs era. Apple said on Monday that John Ternus, its senior vice president of hardware engineering, will become CEO from 1 September, with Cook shifting to executive chairman.

Cook’s departure marks the end of a remarkable 15-year run at the top. Since taking over in 2011, he has steered Apple well beyond the Mac, iPod and iPhone, pushing the company into services, wearables, health and entertainment — and making the Apple Watch practically a public-health argument with a wrist strap.

Ternus, by contrast, is very much an Apple insider. He joined the company in 2001, rose through the hardware ranks and helped oversee products including the iPad and AirPods, before most recently launching the MacBook Neo, Apple’s first low-cost MacBook, last month. He takes charge with Apple due for a major year ahead, including a likely Siri upgrade at WWDC in June and reports of a foldable iPhone arriving in September — because apparently a standard phone wasn’t fiddly enough.

For Apple, this is more than a changing of the guard; it’s a proper test of whether the company can keep its halo while catching up in AI and refreshing its core products. As analysts have noted, Cook leaves behind a formidable legacy in Cupertino, but Ternus will be expected to get results quickly. No pressure, then — just the future of the world’s most famous fruit brand, and a few billion impatient users checking their battery health.

King Charles heads stateside
The King and Queen’s state visit to the US will go ahead as planned, despite the White House describing Saturday’s violent incident at a Washington media dinner as an attempted assassination of President Donald Trump.

Buckingham Palace said discussions had taken place on both sides of the Atlantic through the day, and that the trip would proceed after advice from government. “The King and Queen are most grateful to all those who have worked at pace to ensure this remains the case,” the Palace added — a phrase that, in proper English, means there has been rather a lot of fast-moving activity behind the scenes.

Charles and Camilla are due to arrive in Washington on Monday for a four-day visit. The trip is meant to mark the 250th anniversary of American independence and give the much-vaunted “special relationship” between the UK and US a bit of a polish, which is no small task when world politics keeps behaving like a pub argument with better suits. No pressure, Charlie, but the economy probably depends on you now.

Screen clamp capers
England’s classrooms are edging towards blessed silence as the government turns its long-standing advice on mobile phones into actual law. The change comes after peers stalled a wider schools bill, forcing ministers to concede and give headteachers firmer legal footing.

In truth, most schools already ban phones, but this tidies up arguments with parents and pupils alike - no more “but it’s just guidance”. The bigger picture is a hefty child-protection bill, covering everything from welfare tracking to school costs.

Over in Turkey, the crackdown is sharper still: under-15s will be barred from social media entirely, with tech firms ordered to verify ages, appoint local representatives, and even classify games by suitability. It’s a sweeping attempt to rein in digital life early - less scrolling, more supervision, and a looming question of how, exactly, teenagers will try to dodge it.

Space, sport and simians
In Gibraltar, the macaques have developed a rather human problem - too much junk food - and a surprisingly earthy solution. After feasting on tourists’ crisps and ice cream, they’ve been observed eating soil to calm their stomachs, with researchers suggesting it lines the gut and replaces missing nutrients. It’s learned behaviour too, spreading socially between groups like a dubious wellness trend.

Far above, NASA’s Curiosity rover has uncovered organic molecules in Martian rock - structures linked to the chemistry of life, though not proof of it. Still, it strengthens the case that ancient Mars could once have been habitable. Back on Earth, Sony’s AI-powered table tennis robot is making waves by competing with elite players on equal terms, using learned tactics rather than superhuman speed. The result: a machine that doesn’t just hit back, but thinks - rather sporting, really.

Antique astro and audacious antics
A 17th-century astrolabe - essentially the Mughal era’s answer to a smartphone - is heading to auction in London, and it’s no pocket gadget. Crafted in Lahore for nobleman Aqa Afzal, this ornate brass instrument could map stars, tell time, and even dabble in astrology, all with extraordinary precision. Once owned by Jaipur royalty, it’s now tipped to fetch up to £2.5m, proving good design never goes out of fashion.

Less elegant, however, is the tale of a British woman in Singapore accused of posing as Bruneian royalty to swindle victims out of more than S$800,000. Dionne Marie Hanna allegedly spun tales of inheritance and illness to fund a lavish lifestyle - now facing 39 charges, her story reads less fairy tale, more cautionary tale.

Wolf woes and digital deception
In South Korea, a runaway zoo wolf named Neukgu sparked a nationwide hunt - only for one man to muddy the waters with an AI-generated image of the animal roaming free. The fake photo sent authorities chasing shadows and even triggered public alerts, before the real wolf was safely recaptured days later. Police have now arrested the culprit, who claims it was all “for fun” - a defence unlikely to charm anyone who spent a week on a wild wolf chase.