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Starman (still) waiting in the sky šŸ§‘ā€šŸš€ šŸš€

šŸ«– The Teapot Newsletter

Morning all. Boeing’s Starliner spacecraft landed back on Earth this weekend, three months after its original ten-day mission was due to end. One catch... it didn’t have either of the two astronauts on board that it left with.

Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore are expected to be stuck on the ISS until a SpaceX craft rescues them in 2025. The Starliner wasn’t deemed safe to return due to helium leaks (hate it when that happens).

So far, since the two astronauts have been waiting in space:

  • The UK elected a new government.

  • England got to and lost the final of the Euros.

  • Joe Biden stood for reelection in the US.

  • An assassination attempt on Donald Trump.

  • Joe Biden stood down for reelection in the US.

  • The Paris Olympic Games started and ended.

  • Oasis reunited.

  • Steve McDonald downloaded Tinder after Tracy Barlow left him for a new life in Spain.

What’s left on your Stranded in Space bingo card?

MARKETS

FTSE 100Ā£8,181.47
-2.18%
FTSE 250Ā£20,494.00
-2.32%
AIMĀ£744.00
-2.99%
GBP/EUR€1.1839
-0.40%
GBP/USD$1.3132
+0.03%
Data: Google Finance, 7-day Market Close
šŸ“ˆšŸ“‰

PROJECT WATCH

šŸ’Ø Offshore wind - Ƙrsted Hornsea 3 & 4 awarded in UK allocation round six, to become largest offshore wind farm. Read more

🌊 Six tidal contracts awarded in UK allocation round six. Read more

šŸ—ļø Willmot Dixon selected to deliver Ā£48.8m net zero campus. Read more

ECONOMY & FINANCE

Britain’s trillion pound prescription
London's financial reputation has taken a nosedive, with companies opting to list shares in New York instead. Embarrassing, right? A recent report by the Capital Markets Industry Taskforce (CMIT) suggests a whopping £1 trillion investment is needed over the next decade to catch up with our American friends and meet a 3% growth target. With jokes on us, it seems our capital markets are in need of resuscitation.

Historically, the UK and the US shared similar growth trajectories for half a century, until the financial crisis of 2008-09 put a spanner in the works. While the US morphed into a global tech colossus and financial juggernaut, the UK has been twiddling its thumbs with negligible growth in real wages and GDP per capita. Cheers for that, 2008.

The solution? According to the CMIT, we need to inject £100 billion annually into key sectors. This includes £20-30bn for housing, £50bn for energy, and £8bn for the water industry. It's like Marie Kondo-ing our economy: a massive clean-up to spark joy, or at least some financial stability.

Body Shop Saved!
The Body Shop, that well-loved ethical beauty brand, has dodged the administration’s grim reaper thanks to a deal spearheaded by British cosmetics baron Mike Jatania. Along with business partner Paul Raphael, they've snapped up all 113 UK shops plus international outposts in a cloak-and-dagger move on Friday, thereby rescuing over 1,300 jobs.

AurĆ©a, Jatania's growth capital firm, plans to hold on to every single UK store. They seem determined to give current customers the same heady mix of hope and hemp they’ve always loved. With Hilco’s generous Ā£30m lifeline, revamping The Body Shop should be a doddle, right?

It’s not all roses and ethical rituals though. The darling of the high street, which owed a staggering Ā£276m to its creditors back in February, had its fate hanging by a thread when the administration axed 85 stores. It’s a mad dash to keep the cult-favourite name alive and kicking on UK soil.

Helming the brand with Jatania will be Charles Denton, of Molton Brown pedigree. Their mission? To resurrect the brand into a titan of ethicality and beauty. They’ve also got their sights set on product innovation and flawless multi-channel consumer experiences.

POLITICS

Millions of UK Workers Miss Out on Paid Time Off
More than a million British workers are missing out on paid leave, according to research from the Trade Union Congress (TUC). As unions gather for their first conference under a Labour government in 15 years, the TUC revealed that 1.1 million employees received no paid holiday last year, despite being legally entitled to 28 days. This amounts to £2bn in lost holiday pay, with low-paid workers, especially in roles like care work and catering, hit hardest.

The TUC has called for the creation of a new Fair Work Agency to tackle this issue and enforce workers' rights. General Secretary Paul Nowak urged the agency to have "real teeth" to crack down on exploitative employers. With Labour planning to introduce an employment rights bill to ban zero-hour contracts and extend parental leave, the conference is set to be a key moment for workers’ rights in Britain.

Starmer Aims to Reset UK-Ireland Relations
Prime Minister Keir Starmer has announced that the UK and Ireland will hold annual summits to reset relations post-Brexit. During his first official visit to Dublin, Starmer and Irish premier Simon Harris laid out plans for the first summit, scheduled for March 2025, which will cover areas like trade, security, and climate.

Both leaders are pushing for a relationship based on mutual respect, with plans for collaboration on justice, education, and innovation. The announcement marks a significant shift in British-Irish relations as the two nations look to move beyond the tensions of Brexit.

No-Fault Evictions Ban Returns to Parliament
The government is set to introduce the long-awaited Renters' Rights Bill, which will ban no-fault evictions in England. The bill, delayed for years under the previous Conservative government, will end the practice of Section 21 evictions, where landlords can remove tenants without giving a reason. Tenants will also gain the right to request pets and challenge rent increases.

With over 500 renters receiving no-fault eviction notices daily, housing charity Shelter has called the bill a ā€œonce-in-a-generation opportunityā€ to reform the rental market. The proposed legislation will also address unsafe housing conditions, inspired by "Awaab's Law", which ensures landlords fix hazards promptly.

ACROSS THE POND

Popcorn at the ready. The US Presidential Debate is set to go ahead on Tuesday 10th September (small hours of Wednesday 11th here in Old Blighty). The night owls amongst us can stay up to watch live on Channel 4 at 1.30am. Trump vs Harris, what could go wrong?

Trump sentencing delayed
In a blow for courtroom drama enthusiasts, the finale of Donald Trump’s hush money saga has been delayed until after November’s US Presidential election. Yes, folks, Judge Juan Merchan has decided that sentencing Trump during the critical election weeks could be seen as a bit, you know, "interfering".

Trump, who’s apparently determined to cement his place in history as the first ex-president with legal baggage heavier than a Ryanair reasonable airline check-in allowance, was initially set for sentencing on September 18. However, Judge Merchan kindly moved this date to November 26, granting Trump a somewhat ironic ā€˜immunity’ window after the Supreme Court ruled presidents can dodge some criminal prosecutions for official acts while in office.

Guilty Hunter in the dock
Hunter Biden has pleaded guilty to nine federal tax charges in Los Angeles, deciding not to drag his family through further public scrutiny. The plea follows a harrowing gun trial in Delaware three months prior.

This guilty plea, reached without any cosy plea deals, marks the end of a five-year probe into Biden Jr.'s colourful past. The investigation uncovered his attempts to bankroll a hefty addiction using his surname to land lucrative international consultation gigs—and, of course, neglecting to pay taxes.

During a terse courtroom scene, Biden Jr. echoed the word "guilty" nine times as each charge was listed by Judge Mark C. Scarsi. The President's son will remain free on bond until his December sentencing, but the outcome, once deemed implausible, now looms high with potential prison time of up to 17 years and fines hitting $1m—that’s about a king's ransom in GBP.

TECH

Dept. of Govt. Efficiency

UK Leads the Charge on AI Treaty
The UK has proudly signed the world’s first international treaty on artificial intelligence, aiming to keep AI from going rogue with misinformation or biased decisions. Justice Secretary Shabana Mahmood insists AI will "turbocharge" economic growth while protecting human rights and the rule of law. With the ink still drying, we’re all watching closely to see if the government’s tech promises hold up without eroding our basic values.

Satellite King and Colossal AI Builder, now Streamlining Government
After the 7000th successful deployment, and now with two-thirds of all active satellites under his Starlink control, Musk’s dominion over Earth’s orbit is growing fast. But why stop there? Donald Trump has tapped Musk to lead a "government efficiency" task force if he returns to office, putting Musk in charge of trimming Washington’s notorious red tape. And while he's busy streamlining bureaucracy, Musk’s latest venture, xAI, has brought "Colossus" online— the world’s most powerful AI supercomputer. It’s training the next generation of artificial intelligence and is due to launch in December, which will make a lovely stocking filler.

Tiny Robots, Big Dreams: A Medical Marvel
Scientists have developed tiny nanobots that can be injected into the human body to deliver drugs with pinpoint accuracy. These microscopic marvels are smaller than a red blood cell and can be steered through the bloodstream like posties on a mission to treat issues such as brain aneurysms. Once in position, a bit of heat melts their coating and—voilà—medicine is delivered exactly where it’s needed. A tiny triumph in modern medicine, but one can’t help but wonder: what if these little bots decide to go on strike like the rest of Royal Mail?

TfL Dodges a Cyber Bullet (For Now)
Closer to home, TfL is dealing with its own digital woes after a cyber-attack put their systems at risk. So far, no customer data has been compromised, and services remain unaffected, but the National Crime Agency has been called in for good measure. While TfL scrambles to assess the damage, it’s a gentle reminder that in today’s tech-driven world, not even your Oyster card is safe from cyber skulduggery.

WORLD

Afghan Women Sing Out in Defiance of Oppression
Afghanistan’s women are engaged in a battle for their basic human rights. In defiance of the Taliban’s draconian new law banning women’s voices in public, Afghan women have taken to social media, posting videos of themselves singing—an act of rebellion against the regime’s attempts to silence them. Their voices, raised in protest, echo across the internet as they fight to reclaim their space in public life.

Japan’s Four-Day Workweek: A Cultural Battle for Balance
Japan is waging its own cultural battle—this time for a better work-life balance. The government’s push for a four-day workweek is an attempt to tackle the country’s notorious overwork culture, which has long been associated with ā€œkaroshiā€, or death by overwork. While official support has been in place since 2021, the concept remains slow to catch on, with only 8% of companies implementing the change. Deep-rooted cultural expectations around loyalty to employers and long hours are proving hard to shake. But as Japan’s workforce shrinks and its birth rate drops, the call for change is growing louder.

Venezuelan Opposition Leader Flees as Democracy Crumbles
Democracy seems to be slipping further from reach as opposition leader Edmundo GonzĆ”lez has fled to Spain, seeking asylum after facing life-threatening charges from NicolĆ”s Maduro’s regime. Despite evidence suggesting GonzĆ”lez won the recent election by a landslide, Maduro’s government clamped down, forcing GonzĆ”lez into exile. His departure marks a devastating blow to opposition efforts, as protests and unrest have been violently quashed. With over 1,700 political prisoners and an economy in freefall, Venezuela’s road to democracy seems increasingly uncertain.

Xi’s Africa Reset: China’s Bid to Woo the Global South
Chinese President Xi Jinping has rolled out the red carpet, announcing $50bn in new funding for African nations, in an effort to reset relations that had stalled due to debt and economic downturns. At a Beijing summit, Xi offered African leaders not just financial investment but a model for modernisation outside Western influence. Alongside infrastructure projects, China is offering ā€œsoft powerā€ initiatives, from military training to media cooperation, signalling its desire to position itself as the Global South’s key ally. As African nations negotiate their futures, Xi’s vision for a new global alliance is becoming clearer—an attempt to challenge Western hegemony with China at the helm.

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Cuppa Chat Cheat Sheet

šŸ”ŠšŸ¤« Researchers at ETH Zurich succeeded in making sound waves travel in one direction, which could be applied in future electromagnetic wave technology. Silence at last.

šŸŽ¬šŸ† "The Room Next Door", a pro-euthanasia film starring Tilda Swinton and Julianne Moore, wins the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival. Directed by Pedro Almodovar, the film received an 18-minute standing ovation and addresses euthanasia as a fundamental human right.

šŸŒāœˆļø Greece clamps down on excessive tourism to protect cultural heritage sites from over-visitation. Measures include limiting visitor numbers and implementing timed entry slots.

šŸ§¬šŸ¤– Google DeepMind's new AI system, AlphaProteo, can design novel proteins that bind to target molecules, potentially revolutionising drug design and disease research.

šŸŒ¬ļøāš”ļø BMW Group is testing bladeless wind energy units at the MINI plant in Oxford to enhance energy efficiency. The units, which complement existing solar arrays, feature vertical airfoils that create a vacuum effect to generate clean electricity.

šŸ‘Øā€šŸ³šŸ›ļø Terry Wiggins, a chef at Westminster's Portcullis House who served 13 prime ministers over 50 years, is retiring this month. Starting in 1974, he has witnessed significant changes in both the culinary tastes and the culture of Parliament.

šŸš€šŸŒŒ SpaceX will launch uncrewed Starships to Mars in 2026 to test landing reliability, aiming for crewed flights in the following window of opportunity. Elon Musk envisions a self-sustaining Martian city within 20 years to multiply humanity's survival chances.

šŸ’ƒšŸ‘  Con artist Anna Delvey, known from Netflix's "Inventing Anna", has joined the cast of "Dancing With The Stars" in its US version. Delvey, real name Anna Sorokin, will compete while wearing an ankle monitor due to her house arrest conditions.

šŸŽ„šŸ° Gary Goldsmith, uncle to Catherine, Princess of Wales, has joined the Celebrity Big Brother 2024 line-up. The show also features Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh, with hosts AJ Odudu and Will Best.

šŸ„‡šŸš£ā€ā™€ļø UK stars Charlotte Henshaw and Laura Sugar retained their Paralympic Para-canoe titles in Paris, with Henshaw setting a Games best of 49.07 seconds in KL2 and Sugar achieving 46.66 seconds in KL3.

šŸ“ŗšŸ‘Ŗ YouTube will limit repetitive recommendations on fitness and weight content to prevent teens from falling into harmful "rabbit holes" and will roll out tools for parents to monitor their children's viewing activity. These changes aim to create a safer online environment and are informed by findings from the Youth and Families Advisory Committee.

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