Happy Monday. Forewarning - next week’s bank holiday means we’ll be with you on Tuesday morning instead of the usual Monday.

If being too full of chocolate eggs is an appropriate reason to not work then that’s what we’re going for. Enjoy the long weekend!

Notable UK earnings this week: WH Smith (SMWH), Marston’s (MARS).

Notable US earnings this week: PVH (PVH), McCormick & Company (MKC), BlackBerry (BB), Constellation Brands (STZ).

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🔌 First export cable for Hornsea 3 offshore wind in place. Read more

🌊 IKM Testing UK appointed for pre-commisisoning work on first UK offshore carbon storage project. Read more

🍃 Port Talbot set for first floating wind turbine assembly port. Read more

Audit staff cuts at KPMG
KPMG UK has warned nearly 600 staff in its audit arm that their jobs are at risk, with a memo seen by Bloomberg saying affected employees face potential redundancy subject to consultation. The firm now expects up to about 440 people could leave if the proposal clears the consultation process.

The cuts are concentrated on assistant managers who are qualified accountants - not the interns, not the partners, but the mid-tier folk who keep the ledgers honest. The proposal would touch roughly 6% of the division’s 7,100 staff, with KPMG blaming “current market conditions” and unusually low attrition in parts of the audit population for the move.

It’s less an act of vengeance than corporate housekeeping: the firm says it’s trying to “right-size” teams - corporate-speak for pruning when growth plans collide with reality. That’s the same script other professional services firms are playing as they sober up from years of headcount expansion..

UK hardest hit economy from Iran war
The OECD has lopped 0.5 percentage points off the UK’s 2026 GDP forecast, leaving Britain pencilled in for just 0.7% growth - the worst downgrade among its members. The euro area and South Korea aren’t far behind, but the UK’s outlook looks particularly soggy thanks to one uncomfortable truth: we import more energy than we export, and rising oil and gas prices are a stealthy tax on living standards.

Higher crude prices, and knock‑on rises in jet fuel, diesel and fertilisers, are already feeding through to shop bills and business costs. The OECD warns a prolonged spike would add to inflation and squeeze growth - think 1970s oil shock, but with quicker tweets and poorer stationary bikes.

By contrast, the US is set to take advantage: significant hydrocarbon exports mean higher energy prices bolster its GDP rather than batter it. Add in recent US tariff moves and the risk of further Middle East export disruptions - and you’ve got a cocktail capable of spiking global inflation and rattling markets.

Bill blues
Britain’s assisted dying bill has, fittingly, expired. After months of impassioned debate, both supporters and critics now agree it simply won’t make it into law this parliamentary session, bogged down in the Lords under a mountain of amendments (1,200 of them - one assumes written with considerable gusto).

Backers blame obstruction; opponents say scrutiny exposed serious flaws, particularly around safeguards for vulnerable people. Either way, the result is the same: no law, no closure, and the distinct sense this is merely an intermission rather than the final act.

Island impasse
Meanwhile, in sunnier but no less stormy waters, the Maldives has told the UK - politely but firmly - that it doesn’t recognise the planned handover of the Chagos Islands to Mauritius. President Mohamed Muizzu is asserting his own country’s claim and hinting at legal action, adding a third voice to what was already a rather crowded sovereignty squabble.

With international rulings favouring Mauritius, Trump urging Britain to hold on, and the deal already wobbling, the archipelago is fast becoming less a diplomatic transfer and more a geopolitical tug-of-war.

Peers & pageantry
Finally, two hereditary peers are losing their seats - but keeping their pomp. The Duke of Norfolk and Lord Carrington will still organise royal ceremonies, proving that while modernisation marches on, a touch of medieval theatre remains non-negotiable.

$1bn White House payment to abandon wind for oil
The Trump administration has agreed to pay $1 billion to French giant TotalEnergies to abandon two US offshore wind leases off North Carolina and New York - effectively buying out projects that would have supplied hundreds of thousands of homes with clean power. TotalEnergies will use the refunded lease fees to finance a Texas LNG plant and oil and gas activity, a move CEO Patrick Pouyanné called a “more efficient use of capital”.

Politically it’s pay‑to‑not‑play. New York’s Democratic governor Kathy Hochul called it an “outrageous abuse of taxpayer dollars,” and North Carolina’s governor Josh Stein called the deal “terrible” and wasteful given the state’s huge offshore potential. Critics point out that the real cost is not only the cheque but the lost future electricity, jobs and local supply chains that come with building wind farms - especially when natural gas prices are nudged upwards by conflicts overseas.

Globally, this sits oddly against the wider trend: China is leading new offshore wind installations, and Europe - notably the UK with Dogger Bank and Hornsea - continues to scale up big commercial farms. While the US backpedals, other markets are accelerating, leaving a strategic gap in clean‑energy leadership. Meanwhile, the pivot to LNG reflects a broader scramble for fuel security as Middle East tensions keep wholesale prices jumpy.

Airport chaos (please don’t lose our World Cup trophy)
President Donald Trump last Friday ordered the Department of Homeland Security to restart pay for TSA (Transport Security Administration - fancy talk for airport security staff) officers after Congress failed to fund the department, paycheques could start landing as soon as Monday. Cheerful news for wallets, less so for people who hoped the security queues would magically shrink overnight - think slow-cooker, not microwave.

The staffing hole is deep. TSA’s entry salary is about $40,000 (roughly £32,000) and many officers, living week-to-week, simply walked away during the funding lapse - almost 500 quit since mid‑February and more than 1,000 left during last year’s 43‑day shutdown. The agency has about 50,000 officers, but training takes four to six months, so recruits won’t stop the queues any time soon. As the TSA itself admits, it’s likely to “get worse before it gets better”.

In short - airport lines are currently mental, and with the World Cup set to arrive in a few months it looks a little messy. 50,000 TSA officers have been working without pay since mid-February with Elon Musk even stepping in offering to pay them (the government declined his offer) - and we thought Heathrow had problems.

Screen strain & silicon scramble
From toddlers to tech titans, screens are under siege. In the UK, parents are urged to cap under-fives at an hour a day - less or zero for toddlers - amid worries about sleep, development and cartoon-fuelled chaos. “Screen swaps” are encouraged, though many suspect the real swap is parental sanity for finger painting.

Further up the age ladder, things turn litigious. A US jury found Meta and YouTube knowingly addictive, sparking panic in Silicon Valley, where executives are quietly calculating how many more M&Ms (read: billions) might be on the line. Austria, meanwhile, is considering banning social media for under-14s altogether - apps now filed somewhere between cigarettes and contraband sweets.

AI angst & astro ambition
Elsewhere, the future is arriving at an alarming clip. China’s Seedance AI can now generate Hollywood-style films (with Hollywood actors) from a sentence, prompting studios to cry copyright, actors presumably crying “show me the money”, while quietly panicking about being replaced by a well-written prompt.

At the White House, a humanoid robot briefly upstaged Melania Trump - polite, multilingual, and ominously competent - while Elon Musk unveiled “Terafab”, a vast chip empire to feed his AI and robot ambitions. And just to keep things grounded, NASA is sending humans back around the Moon for the first time in 50 years this week.

Classroom calm
China has decided its students might quite like a childhood after all. New rules ban excessive homework, endless exams, and teachers turning break time into yet another revision session.

The government says it’s tackling anxiety, sleep deprivation and a culture of relentless academic grind, with mandated exercise and even spring holidays to encourage “romance” (revision, presumably, of a different sort). It’s a notable pivot for a system long defined by pressure and performance - though one suspects parents may still be quietly clutching the flashcards.

Rapping reformer
Over in Nepal, politics has found a new beat, with the youngest premier sworn in. Balendra Shah - better known as rapper Balen - has gone from underground diss tracks to the top job, winning a landslide after youth protests toppled the old guard.

Supporters see a generational reset; sceptics see a political novice with a very large to-do list. Either way, it’s not often a prime minister drops a campaign anthem.