Happy Monday. It’s the biggie - last week the oldest living person in the whole world, Ethel Caterham, celebrated her 117th birthday in Surrey. She became the first Brit to make it to 117 years old.

Happy Birthday to you, Ethel! GDPR restrictions do mean we’re unable to verify whether or not Ethel subscribes to The Teapot, but we wish her the best nonetheless. If you’re reading this at work, just think of the shareholder value you still have left to contribute if you’re going to make it to 117 too.

Notable UK earnings this week: Nvidia (NVDA), Intuit (INTU), PDD Holdings (PDD), Best Buy (BBY).

Notable US earnings this week: Whitbread (WTB), Babcock International (BAB), Darktrace (DARK), Workspace Group (WKP).

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🌊 Consortium including Heerema bags UK shelf decom work. Read more

🛢️ $11.8bn North Sea project ready for govt final decision. Read more

💧 £150m Thames Water wastewater contract awarded to Costain. Read more

Inflation up in July
British inflation edged up to 2.9% in July, its highest level in four months, as household energy bills climbed and the latest squeeze on utility costs did exactly what no one asked for: made everything a bit pricier. The rise matched economists’ expectations, but it was still enough to remind households that the cost-of-living crisis may have calmed down, not disappeared.

The Office for National Statistics said the increase was driven by a 13% jump in the energy price cap. That’s the sort of figure that makes even the most stoic tea-drinker reach for the receipt folder. Inflation had been sitting at a 15-month low of 2.6% in June, so July’s move up is a sharp little nudge rather than a full-blown sledgehammer - though these days, people are understandably twitchy about any price rise at all.

Govt borrowing higher than expected
The government borrowed £1.8 billion in July, more than economists had expected, according to fresh figures from the Office for National Statistics. The consensus had pointed to a small surplus, so the Chancellor has been handed an unwelcome little fiscal after-dinner mint just as he prepares his first Budget on 27 October.

For John Healey, that means less wiggle room than hoped. He has pledged “strong fiscal discipline” and stuck with Rachel Reeves’ fiscal rules, which require day-to-day spending to be covered by tax receipts by the end of the decade. In plain English: the cheque book is on a tighter leash than a pensioner’s Thursday quiz budget.

The July number was still a sharp drop from June’s £16 billion, helped by the usual seasonal bump from self-assessed income tax receipts. But economists warned that boost is a one-month wonder, and once it fades, the public finances could face fresh strain from weaker growth and higher welfare spending. Britain’s debt mountain is also edging close to £3 trillion, which is not exactly pocket change.

Zones and zingers
Serious violent and sexual offenders leaving prison could soon face GPS-monitored restriction zones just a few miles wide, with breaches potentially sending them back inside. Ministers say the October scheme will give victims more breathing room; critics worry probation services may be stretched like offenders’ term time should they breach their geo-fence.

Crypto cash conundrum
Reform UK has received £20m from crypto-linked donors since 2024, according to an analysis of Electoral Commission data, with one billionaire accounting for £15m. The party says its donations follow the rules, while critics question whether such hefty cheques can come without hefty expectations.

Target receive hefty tariff refund
Target has landed a hefty US$994m pre-tax tariff reimbursement from the US government, after President Donald Trump’s so-called Liberation Day scheme returned US$100bn to American businesses in refunds. Not exactly pocket change, is it? The windfall helped the retail giant more than double second-quarter operating income to US$2.6bn, up from US$1.3bn a year earlier.

The payout follows a US Supreme Court ruling that found Trump’s steep import tariffs were unlawful, forcing the government to cough up rebates on goods brought into the country. In practical terms, Target has found itself on the right side of a very large administrative U-turn - the sort of thing Westminster, Brussels and Washington all seem to specialise in when no one’s looking.

The nearly a billion dollars doesn’t seem to have made its way back to the customers who actually footed the initial bill, but the CFO said the company would keep investing in price… If I were a customer, I wouldn’t be expecting my cheque in the post.

US x Canada trade talks turn ugly
Trade talks between the US and Canada fell apart last week, as a result the US has slapped a 50% tariff on $20bn (£14.6bn) of Canadian goods, prompting Ottawa to promise it will hit back in kind. In other words, one side has reached for the economic sledgehammer and the other has gone rummaging for its own - not exactly the sort of cross-border goodwill you’d expect from two neighbours who usually get along like peas and carrots.

Donald Trump’s import tax will affect around 5% of what Canada ships to the US each year, from hockey sticks to tongue depressors - bit of a weird shopping list, as say “ahh” turns to “agh!”. Canadian prime minister Mark Carney says retaliatory measures will kick in on 8 September, after talks collapsed late on Friday and the long-standing relationship between the two countries took another very public kicking.

Mr Carney said Canada would match Washington’s new tariffs “dollar for dollar” to protect workers, farmers, families and businesses. The measures will hit steel, dairy, appliances, agricultural equipment, pulp and paper, and electronics - a proper all-day buffet of economic pain, if you will. He added that Ottawa had been prepared to drop its remaining tariffs on steel, aluminium and autos if the US lowered its own, but Washington’s final demands, he said, simply went too far.

Robots race, then build
China’s humanoid robot Tianzhuo has sprinted 100m in 9.39 seconds, beating Usain Bolt’s 9.58-second world record. Meanwhile, Icelandic architects want robots to harvest molten lava and turn it into low-carbon building materials. Humanity has officially outsourced both running and construction to machines.

Tech troubles and taxing times
TikTok will pay $400m to settle US allegations it mishandled children’s data, while Meta faces a much bigger court battle over claims it deliberately hooked young users on Facebook and Instagram. And back home, HMRC has sent 81,000 warnings to crypto holders who may owe tax. The message is clear: enjoy the algorithm, enjoy the Bitcoin, but do remember the taxman has his tea this morning.

Record setting
Mahatma Gandhi’s handwritten reflections on truth and non-violence have sold for $1.69m in India, setting a record for an Indian historical document. Meanwhile, Hong Kong activists Lee Cheuk-yan and Chow Hang-tung have been convicted under the national security law for organising Tiananmen vigils.

Medals, missteps And misbehaviour
Sydney Marathon runners will receive medals featuring Munich’s Allianz Arena instead of Sydney’s Allianz Stadium - an unfortunate geographical detour organisers have cheerfully owned up to. And in Bali, a Swiss tourist has been jailed for a year after filming himself flouting Nyepi, the Hindu Day of Silence, and mocking the restrictions. Two very different ways to discover that landmarks and local customs need localisation.